Three Ways Remembering Death Brings Life Into Focus
Today’s Post Comes in Threes
Now and then, I like to break from the usual single-essay format and share a triad: three short reflections on a theme. Each one stands on its own, but together they form a fuller picture. Like three windows on the same landscape, each shows a different angle — and one might be just the view you need today.
1. The Confucius Reminder
“You have two lives. The second one begins when you realize you only have one.”
— Confucius (apocryphal)
This deceptively simple line has the weight of an avalanche. It isn’t about living recklessly. It’s about living with clarity. Most of us move through our days as if they’re infinite. We defer joy, put off wonder, and treat existence like an endless practice run.
But the moment we realize the clock is ticking — and that the sand is falling through the hourglass — we wake up. That’s when life begins in earnest.
I remember standing on an ice wall at seventeen, sandals slipping on frozen rock, convinced I wouldn’t make it. When I finally crawled back to earth, I rubbed dirt between my fingers just to feel something again. That day gave me my second life. Every day since then has been bonus time.
What about you? Where in your life do you need to remember that you don’t get a practice round? What have you been deferring, waiting for the “right time”? Maybe today is that time.
2. Graveyard Lessons
As a teenager, I used to wander through graveyards. I’d read the headstones and imagine the lives behind them. Each name belonged to someone who once laughed, cried, dreamed, failed, loved. And now, they were gone.
It wasn’t morbid curiosity. It was perspective. Walking among graves showed me what few other places could: that life is temporary, and that this fact makes it precious.
We tend to live as though the people around us will always be there. That we’ll always get another tomorrow. Mortality awareness breaks that spell. It reminds us to treasure the people who are here now, and to make sure the story we’re living today is one we’ll be glad we wrote.
When you walk among the dead, you remember to be grateful you’re not one of them — yet. And that gratitude can change the way you live.
3. Bonus Time
After my near-death experience on that mountain wall, I began to think of every day since as “bonus time.” It was all gravy. It wasn’t owed to me. It wasn’t guaranteed. But it’s given, because I’m fortunate enough to live in a universe where it’s been possible.
Most of us don’t live this way. We treat time like it’s on tap, flowing endlessly. We spend it carelessly, as though more will always pour out. Mortality awareness corrects that. It makes you realize: the tap can shut off at any moment.
This is not meant to depress you. Quite the opposite. It’s meant to invigorate and free you. When you treat every day as bonus time, you stop desperately needing each day to be free of “failure.” It’s already a success because it exists. Because you get to live it. And that success frees you to take risks, to have adventures, to truly and fully live.
Final Note
Mortality awareness isn’t about dwelling on death. It’s about waking up to life. Remembering death helps us see through the fog of expectations and disappointments to the miracle of simply being alive.
Your bonus time has already started. The only question is how you’ll spend it.
