Psychology

When life grows heavy, numbing calls to us like a mirage. A drink to quiet the nerves. A screen to scroll the hours away. A purchase to fill the hollow. A burst of workaholism to silence the questions. For a moment, numbing seems to help. The ache dulls. The noise fades. But then the mirage evaporates, and we find ourselves not refreshed but emptier, further from the wellspring of life.

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Okay, Mr. Life Savor: yes, life is a gift. But it’s also a trial. Bills come due, bodies ache, relationships fray, accidents strike, and headlines darken our minds. Even when fortune smiles, stress and worry find their way in. So the question arises: how do we stay sane enough to keep loving life?

How Do We Stay Sane Enough to Love Life? Read More »

We live in a culture addicted to quick answers. “Find your true self.” “Unlock your destiny.” “Discover who you are.” As if identity were a hidden treasure chest waiting to be unearthed in one glorious moment of revelation. But selfhood doesn’t arrive like lightning. It unfolds like a long, winding road. There are detours, false starts, switchbacks, and stretches where the scenery seems to repeat itself. Becoming ourselves is not about one defining moment but a lifetime of becoming.

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We all know the feeling. Expectations press in like a fog, filling our head with shoulds and musts. A grade, a job title, a social standing. One misstep feels catastrophic, as if the whole life we’ve imagined will implode. Sometimes the cost of those expectations is devastating.

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Why bother living? It’s a heavy question—but an honest one. We all ask it, whether in quiet moments or darker ones. What makes this life worth all the effort, the heartbreak, the slog? What’s the payoff that justifies the pain? Because let’s face it: life isn’t Disneyland. It’s messy. It’s hard. It’s work. So why do we stay?

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There are a million ideas out there about what to do with your life. Your parents have one. So do your friends, your boss, your culture. They’ll tell you what’s smart. What’s responsible. What’s impressive. But if you want a compass that points to something truly yours, try this one: follow your fascination.

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Is depression all bad? Well, yes, in a sense it is. Because when you’re depressed, nothing feels good. But in the background, there are some things going on that can actually be helpful to you. Especially if you fully and honestly let yourself be depressed.

Depressed? Maybe That’s Okay For A While Read More »

I love making progress, but sometimes I get too caught up in it.Progress helps me achieve a sense of traction in life, giving me a daily trickle of both saline and champagne. When I make progress, I feel empowered, fulfilled and secure because I feel like I’m perpetually ratcheting up.Sometimes, though, my fixation on progress becomes unhealthy, almost like a drug addiction.

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woman looking at sea while sitting on beach
Expectation primes us to be disappointed if things don’t work out exactly as planned. In reality, life rarely goes exactly as planned (especially when others are involved), and progress is often necessarily slow and uncertain.Furthermore, expectations make us pre-live what we think our experiences should be to the point of leaving us emotionally fatigued, bored and disappointed by the time the results of our goals become real.

Managing Expectations Read More »

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