Three ways to follow what pulls you
1. Lean Into Small Curiosities
We often imagine that identity comes from a single revelation — a passion discovered once and for all. But life usually doesn’t work that way. More often, it’s a trail of small curiosities. A subject that makes us lean forward. A hobby that energizes us for no practical reason. A question that lingers in the mind long after the conversation ends.
Leaning into these small curiosities doesn’t demand a lifetime contract. It only asks for today’s attention. Borrow a book, take a class, try an experiment. If the spark burns out, that’s not failure — it’s feedback. And if it grows, you’ve opened a door you never would have seen otherwise.
Picture this: a teenager discovers an old guitar in the attic. She strums awkwardly for a while, then sets it aside. Months later, she returns, finds a chord, and suddenly feels her heart leap. She never becomes a famous musician, but that curiosity opens a lifelong love of sound — first guitar, then piano, then audio engineering. What started as a clumsy spark becomes a signature thread in her story.
Small curiosities are not small. They are invitations. When we accept, we move closer to ourselves.
2. Trust the Peculiar and Personal
Fascinations don’t have to make sense to anyone else. In fact, the best ones usually don’t.
A neighbor keeps bees, fascinated by the rhythm of the hive. A friend collects vintage travel posters and can recite the history of ocean liners. Someone else learns every jazz standard they can find, even though no one in their circle listens to jazz.
To outsiders, these pursuits might look eccentric or pointless. But to the person inside, they feel luminous. They bring energy, focus, and a kind of joy that doesn’t need justification. That’s the sign of a true fascination: it feeds you, whether or not anyone applauds.
The philosopher Alain de Botton once said, “Your weirdness will make sense to someone.” It starts by making sense to you. When you trust your peculiar pulls, you give yourself permission to live a life that isn’t a photocopy. You also give others courage to follow theirs.
Consider this scene: A man spends weekends building model ships in his garage. His coworkers tease him. His family doesn’t understand. But every time he works on a ship, he feels calm, precise, alive. Eventually, he joins a community of fellow model-builders, and those friendships enrich his life in ways he never could have planned. What once looked eccentric becomes a source of meaning and belonging.
The peculiar is not a flaw in the system. It is the system — the fingerprint of your selfhood.
3. Allow Fascinations to Lead to Unexpected Places
We often resist new interests because we can’t predict where they’ll lead. “What if this fascination doesn’t go anywhere?” But that’s not how curiosity works. One pursuit often opens the door to another, in ways we couldn’t foresee.
A fascination with photography might lead to design. A love of languages might lead to travel, which leads to friendships and networking across cultures. A passion for gardening might lead to botany, then to teaching, then to community-building. The point is not to plan every step in advance but to trust that the energy of curiosity is never wasted.
Imagine this story: A woman begins writing poems in secret. They’re clumsy at first, but she loves the practice. The poems lead her to join a local writing group, where she discovers storytelling. Storytelling leads her to give a speech at a community event. That speech inspires her to pursue public speaking, which eventually becomes a second career. None of it was visible when she wrote the first awkward poem. But one fascination opened into another, and together they built a life.
The lesson: don’t demand that fascinations justify themselves up front. Let them surprise you.
The Thread Through All Three
Lean into the small. Trust the peculiar. Let them lead you onward.
Selfhood doesn’t arrive as a thunderclap of destiny. It emerges step by step, as you honor the fascinations that pull you. Each spark you follow shapes the map of who you are becoming.
Mortality’s Reminder
Our time is limited. We won’t have the chance to explore every possible fascination. But that scarcity doesn’t mean hesitation — it means urgent attention to your actual interests. Better to follow a curiosity and let it teach you something than to silence it and always wonder what might have been.
When we look back at the end, it’s rarely the risks we regret. It’s the unlived paths, the silenced fascinations, the sparks we never bothered to follow.
Mortality whispers: don’t wait for perfect certainty. Follow the tug today.
Closing Thought
Don’t wait for a singular passion to crown your life. Pay attention to the sparks already glowing.
Because those sparks, honored faithfully, become the firelight of your story.
