A reflection on living and dying as yourself
Independence is not just a lifestyle preference. It is a way of honoring the gift of existence itself.
When we recognize that life is finite — that our time here is brief, unrepeatable, fragile — the question sharpens: Will I spend this one chance as myself, or as an echo of others’ expectations?
Mortality gives independence its urgency. Without death, perhaps we could afford endless conformity, endless delay. But with death — with the hourglass steadily emptying — we cannot. The only tragedy greater than dying is never having truly lived.
The Thread Through It All
Life offers us many treasures: love, wonder, creativity, purpose, beauty, pride. All of them are heightened when lived independently.
- Love is richer when it flows between whole beings, not halves begging for completion.
- Wonder is sharper when it springs from your own eyes, not borrowed lenses.
- Creation is more meaningful when it arises from your fascinations, not scripts handed down.
- Pride is possible only when you know the life you lived was truly your own.
Independence is not opposed to these treasures. It is the condition that allows them to flourish.
At the End of Life
Picture someone at the end of their life, sitting by a window in the fading light. They are not tallying up possessions or approval. They are asking: Was it mine?
Did I choose the loves I gave my heart to?
Did I follow the work that called to me?
Did I savor the wonders that passed before my eyes?
Did I live my story, or someone else’s?
The answers to these questions carry the weight of a lifetime.
The Gift and the Responsibility
Independence is not arrogance for the sake of arrogance. It is responsibility — the responsibility to treat your one life as precious, not squandered.
When you honor your independence, you are not dishonoring others. You are offering them the gift of your true self. You are letting them know that you exist too. You are showing up whole, not hollow. That is generosity, not withdrawal.
Mortality’s Clarion Call
Death is often seen as an enemy, but in truth it is also a teacher. It tells us: Do not waste time. Do not live small. Do not betray yourself for applause.
Mortality clarifies that independence is not optional. It is the only dignified way to spend your days.
Closing Thought
We’ve explored the fullness of life’s treasures — the loves, the wonders, the creations, the moments of pride. Independence binds them together. It ensures that when death finally stops for us, as Emily Dickinson once wrote, we can meet it with open eyes, knowing we lived as ourselves.
Because in the end, the greatest gift mortality gives us is perspective. And the clearest perspective is this: your life is yours. Own it. Live it. Honor it. And, above all, love it.
