The overlooked joy of feeling good about who we are
The Quiet Joy of Being Ourselves
There is a kind of joy that doesn’t come from sunsets, or music, or even love. It comes from something quieter: the simple satisfaction of feeling at home in your own skin.
It’s the moment you stand a little taller because you did what you said you would do. It’s the glow of competence after solving a problem. It’s the inner warmth of knowing you’re living in line with your values.
This is pride — not the arrogance that puffs up, but the dignity that steadies. This is mojo — the spark of confidence, energy, and joy that radiates from a person who feels right with themselves.
Why Pride Matters
People often think of pride as a vice. Religious and cultural traditions warn against it, fearing it leads to arrogance or hubris. And yes, pride twisted into a pathological sense of superiority is destructive, or at least really annoying.
But pride in its healthy form is not arrogance. It is affirmation.
To feel pride is to recognize: I am glad to be me.
Without this, even love falters. If we cannot respect ourselves, we will find it difficult to believe others truly respect us. If we cannot feel joy in our being, we will struggle to open ourselves to joy with others. Pride gives us the backbone to live, to work, to love with freedom.
Mojo as Life-Force
Mojo is harder to define, but we know it when we see it. It’s that sparkle in someone’s eyes, that energy that says, I’m alive, I’m here, and I’m glad for it.
Mojo is not about external beauty or charisma. It’s about alignment and a feeling of overflowing. When we live robustly, and in tune with ourselves, energy flows. When we hide or otherwise betray ourselves, it dries up.
The world is full of forces that drain mojo — criticism, failure, monotony, illness. But it’s also full of ways to recharge it — creativity, movement, laughter, achievement, love. To cultivate mojo is to keep our flame alive, to keep saying yes to life.
The Runner in the Park
Picture a runner finishing a long jog in the park. She is not an Olympian. No cameras are watching. No medals await. But as she slows to a walk, sweat dripping, breath heavy, she smiles. She set herself a goal, and she kept at it. She moved her body, she chose effort, and now she feels the quiet pride of having done so.
That smile is mojo. It is the joy of feeling a sense of strength in herself, however briefly. And that joy is available to us all, in countless forms.
The Link Between Pride and Love
Love flourishes best when rooted in self-respect. Simone de Beauvoir reminded us that authentic love requires two free beings, each with their own selfhood. Pride is part of that selfhood. Without it, we risk collapsing into neediness or losing ourselves in the other.
When we carry dignity, we can love more freely. When we carry mojo, our presence becomes a gift to others, not a plea for validation. Healthy pride makes love more generous and less desperate.
Why We Overlook It
We often dismiss pride and mojo as shallow. We praise humility and selflessness instead. But humility without pride is hollow. Selflessness often collapses into martyrdom.
We need balance. To acknowledge our worth is not vanity. It is sanity. It honors the fact that, against astronomical odds, we choose to live well and to live vibrantly.
Practices for Nurturing Mojo
- Keep promises to yourself. Each kept promise is a brick in the foundation of self-respect.
- Notice your competence. Write down small wins. Don’t let them vanish unnoticed.
- Move your body. Physical energy often sparks emotional energy.
- Align with values. Pride flows from living in line with what you truly believe matters.
- Celebrate progress. Even unfinished steps are worthy of recognition.
- Go for it. Take pride in not hiding from life.
These aren’t about ego inflation. They’re about fueling the quiet joy of being alive as who you are.
The Broader Triumph
Pride and mojo are not trivial feelings. They are signs of life lived with integrity and energy. They are evidence that we’re not only surviving but affirming our existence.
When we feel proud, we are saying yes to ourselves. When we feel mojo, we are saying yes to life. Together they create a rhythm that carries us forward, through joy and through sorrow.
Closing Thought
The gift of life is not only to love others, to create, or to savor beauty. It is also to feel the dignity of being ourselves — to look in the mirror, however briefly, and be glad for the person looking back.
That gladness is not arrogance. It is gratitude, expressed through self-respect. It is the quiet triumph of being able to say: I am here, and I am glad to be me.
That is pride. That is mojo. And that is one of life’s overlooked joys.
